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Chasing after the wagon

October 27, 2010
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Of course I see this just as I'm getting back on track with my diet

People are out to sabotage my hard work.  Since getting over my depression and finally putting on healthy weight, I got too used to wearing size 2 skinny jeans and snacking on all kinds of bad foods  finally caught up to me.  I am not overweight by any means but my clothes were a tad too snug for my liking so I sat back and thought:  now, what can I do to avoid exercise and do the least amount of work possible to lose this weight? . That’s when I decided to do a major overhaul of my diet.

In my younger years, I used to love working out and when I mean love, I mean I used to spend 3 hours at the gym.  And not like those gym rats you see chatting away with friends and spending 30 minutes exercising and the rest of the 2.5 hours hanging out.  In fact, I didn’t know anyone at the gym – I actually worked out for 3 hours.  I know, crazy right?  Where that passion for exercise went, I have no idea but I certainly wouldn’t be in this position if it were still around.

So back to my diet overhaul.  About 2 months ago, I cut out all bad carbs (white rice, white pasta etc),  sweets and other sugary wonderfulness  (my kryptonite),  snacks and anything that is generally not good for me.  This also meant beer because beer has a lot of calories.  It was tough at first and I was a semi-bitch for about a week and a half but after I passed that rough patch, I actually felt better – lighter and less bloated.  My diet consisted of eating whole wheat or whole grain toast only at breakfast, proteins and lots and lots of salads, fresh fruit and veggies so really what it comes down to is that I only eat boring foods.

After about a month,  I slowly started seeing results:  I felt much lighter, my pants and clothes felt looser and I felt better overall.  I even think my sleep improved because I started sleeping more solidly around the time that I cut out all that shit from my diet; a huge incentive for me to continue with this because I’ve had shitty sleep most of my life and getting a solid 5 hours is huge progress.

Then Thanksgiving came and I totally fell off the wagon.  How could I not with all of the local farms showcasing Halloween/Thanksgiving/OctoberFest activities and along with that, freshly baked treats that are all things pumpkinny or tarty.  Needless to say, my diet went downhill pretty fast.  So after a few days of gorging like a kid in a candy store, I finished off thew out all of the bad stuff and hopped back on the wagon.  Actually, I’m trailing behind it a little but it’s been much better this past week.

Then I walk into the office and find this box of temptation sitting all by itself in the office kitchen.  As if Pandora herself placed it there to wreak havoc on my diet.  Really, Food Gods, really?! Doing this to a person who is doing her damndest eat well is like putting a wet bar in an AA meeting and leaving it unattended.  The fact that this person left a full box of cookies (the mint ones which are like, the best ones ever) and an envelope full of money is just begging to be taken advantage of.  Seriously.  This person might as well stand in the kitchen with her pants down and bent over with a sign that says: please fuck me.   Well played, Food Gods; well played.

So I did what any honest person would do:  I muttered some profanities, brushed my fingers over the boxes of cookies that I would not eat and promptly left the area.   Hmph.

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