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I HATE MY FUCKING NEIGHBORS

April 5, 2010

Living in the suburbs can be nice.  You have neighbors who look out for others, respect the property and maybe even extend little friendly conversations.  You would think that in this day and age neighbors are well, neighborly, especially when you don’t live in a ghetto area.

Unfortunately, that is not the case with me.  I just came back after arguing with my racist motherfucking neighbor across the street who are probably going to be egging my house later on tonight and planning on robbing me blind later on this week.

Every summer since we moved here, they just love to sit in their driveway blasting their music.  With their entire family.  Just hanging around their driveway.  Oh, let me mention that they have a very nice, landscaped backyard but they still prefer to ghetto it in their driveway.  I don’t5 mind the hanging around loitering Jane and Finch styles and bringing down our property value and I don’t even mind the million and one cars that they park all over the street but I do mind when they blast their music so fucking loud that it reverberates off of my windows and disturbs Kayla when she’s trying to go to sleep for the night.

So tonight with the nice weather, they decide to have fiesta time again on their driveway.  Blasting their music and disturbing my child’s sleep.  Now, as a neighbor you would think that you would be more aware of your surroundings and that maybe there are kids who are trying to sleep.  Seeing that Kayla was having a bit of trouble – or maybe because I was just so fucking annoyed with the boom-boom-boom of their blasting calypso music – I went out there, said hello and politely asked them to turn it down just a tad because my daughter was having trouble falling asleep with the noise.  You would think that I stomped over there and yelled at them to shut the fucking thing off from the way the grandfather reacted.  He was the first to pipe up and got right up in my face and when I mean right up in my face I mean I had to literally hold my hand up and tell him to step back because it was too fucking close.  One of the brothers turned down the music right away which I thanked him for but this didn’t go without the rest of the family giving me an ear full of their opinions about my request.   Looking around, I saw about 4 or 5 kids staring at us so I politely reminded them that I wasn’t asking them to turn the music off, just to turn it down a little.  Then I thanked them and turned around to go back home when I hear: “Oh, why don’t you go back to Jamaica if you don’t like it here!”.

OHNOHEDIDNOTJUSTFUCKINGSAYTHAT.

I stopped in my tracks but didn’t turn around rather, I shook my head because I wasn’t quite sure I heard right.  He repeated himself and then I heard the mumblings of the family under their breath “oh no, dad, don’t say those things” or “dad stop please” but no one made any attempt to drag that motherfucker inside and drop kick his ass.  So I turned around and walked back over and said “excuse me?” and that’s when he got right up in my face going on about how “we” all come from Jamaica acting like we own the place etc etc and how he remembers me from that other incident and “my attitude was all stink”.  I won’t even get into that but he got into another argument with another family down the street (they’re Chinese Jamaican too) but I wasn’t even there – I had sent DH over to ask them to take the argument inside because they were yelling racial slurs and there were kids playing everywhere in the street.

Anyhow, long story short –  the racist fucking grandfather was still going off about Jamaicans, the brothers were trying to be neighborly but at the same time, trying to stick up for their family and my actual neighbor was telling me that out of respect he will turn down the music while repeating that he’s within his rights yadayada and then the fucking mother comes out of the house going on about “oh, is it night time already?” etc etc and arguing with me with her fucking children running around.  Then she starts going on about how our car is always parked on the street and that she never comes over to say anything about it and I’m like bitch, what the fuck are you talking about?  So I say:  LOOK AROUND YOU – YOU HAVE 4 CARS ON YOUR DRIVEWAY AND 5 CARS ON THE STREET.  I HAVE 2 CARS IN MY GARAGE AND MY HUSBAND IS DRIVING ONE.  WHO’S PARKED ALL OVER THE STREET?

We never have our cars parked out on the street because why would we – we have 3 cars, 2 of which are always in garage and 1 on the driveway with an extra space for 1 more car so I don’t know what the fuck she’s talking about but it ain’t our car.

My question is:  does anyone in that fucking family stop to look around and think:  hmmm… there are our kids running around maybe grandpa should shut the fuck up and stop with his racial slurs and that maybe the mother shouldn’t be such a bitch.  The dad I’m ok with – he seems like a decent guy but the grandfather and fat heffer mother bitch needs to get their ass beat.  I did not even bother going on with them because I was just about to explode and  there were children there for fuck’s sake.  I wasn’t about to get down to their level or give them the satisfaction of getting angry.  They said some other stupid ignorant remarks  so I just said “you know what? do what you want.  You want to be un-neighborly, go right ahead and blast your music.  Yell ignorant racial slurs in front of your kids and set that fine example.  Park your cars every which way and make all kinds of ruckus.  I asked you to turned the music down – not off – and I didn’t come over here to argue so do what you want.  Good night.”  What a bunch of assholes.  What did I do to God to make them move in across from me?  what is it, God?  How have I wronged you????

But let me just tell you if they do even anything remotely illegal like, oh I don’t know, SMOKE WEED IN THEIR DRIVEWAY  or dump garbage or do any kind of illegal parking, I’m calling the cops on their ass.  My cop friend lives in the neighborhood so you can bet that I’ll be calling him in the near future.

I fucking hate them.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. April 7, 2010 12:04 am

    best. best. BEST. THE BEST. ABSOLUTE BEST … story I got to read all freaking day. I laughed through the entire thing. I think its the way you retold the entire story.

    ha ha ha ha

    • April 9, 2010 8:52 am

      LOL. I’m sure there’ll be lots of other confrontation because now that the summer is here, they’re always going to be outside doing that crap!

  2. aware permalink
    July 22, 2010 2:32 pm

    I feel you, I live in Tokyo Japan near Tokyo dome and I have 1 racist neighbor an old Japanese lady who is an evil witch in disguise, and directly across the street is an old Japanese couple with a small company in their garage..where 2 old racist Japanese men work. these 2 JN men are a pain in the ass. The short one I call stubby likes to leave ciggarette butts in front of my house. The tall one is a more significant racist. I’m pretty sure he is the one who had the Japanese right wing (gaisen sha) nationalist sign posted on the telephone pole across the stree from my house, which I had the Japanese police remove. The poster had dates and times for meetings posted,as an avertisement to bring other passing by racist to participate in. BTW I have had to ask for Japanese police patrol many times..due to incidence of tampering with my trash set out to be picked up by the city sanitation trucks. BTW I’ve had to complain to the city sanitation about my garbage not being picked up while my other neighbor’s trash was collected. The 2 racist men dont even live on my street, they just work for an old couple who runs their in garage company.
    The old man who is the owner of the company is very nosey. it seems that everytime I come outside he comes outside. His wife just gives me nasty looks. Mind you I have not done anything to the fucks. My wife is Japanese and she said she has not received any negative feedback from any of them…..hmmm

    here are some links so that you can get a taste of the real Tokyo:

    http://www.japantoday.com/category/crime

    http://www.debito.org/roguesgallery.html

    http://factsanddetails.com/japan.php?itemid=632&catid=18

  3. September 21, 2010 9:40 am

    love it! I hate my neighbors to.

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