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update on my own happiness project

March 4, 2010

at the end of leesh’s update on her happiness project, she asked how we were doing with ours.  in a previous post, i mentioned that i’m working on my own happiness project as i don’t have the book nor have i read it.  here’s my update:

accepting things for what they are

i have to say, i’ve been getting better at this.  a few weeks ago, kayla was pretty sick with a cough and wasn’t sleeping well at all.  she would sleep maybe 5-10mins and then wake up crying and couldn’t go back to sleep.  if this had happened last year, i really don’t know what i would’ve done but since i have my sanity back, i was able to take it in stride (for the most part) and even broke the sleep rules a few times.  yes, the sleep-nazi broke the rules and when i mean broke the sleep rules, i mean going into kayla’s room and trying to hold/rock her to sleep (something i haven’t done since she was 3.5mos) and also put her in the car so she can get some sleep.

kayla is better now but she’s been surrounded by people who are sick.  everyone at daycare is sick and so is DH and the old me would have wrapped her in saran wrap but the new me is like, “whatever.  she’s going to get sick – it’s inevitable”.  i know, right?  can you believe that I’M saying WHATEVER?!  and these days, kayla likes to cry before nap – i have no idea why.  sometimes she won’t even sleep so back in the car we go.  i guess this is yet another phase that i just have to wait out.  see?  i’m accepting things for what they are.

organizing my home

while this was supposed to be the prime focus last month, i did manage to get some areas cleaned and organized – just not the areas that really needed it like my closet.  actually, that’s not 100% true  – it’s a lot better than before because now, you an actually open the door but if you would have tried that last month, you would only be able to crack it open and then have to climb over all the shit strewn all over the floor to get to the other side.   i managed to unloead a lot of baby stuff to a friend who is pregnant and we got rid of the foam mats that covered our family room because kayla doesn’t need them anymore.  whe lay them down when she first started walking to cushion her fall as she got used to being upright but now that she has her walking legs – or should i say running legs – we have no use for them anymore.  she still trips and falls and spazzes out but she’s pretty good at bouncing right back up.  i also organized kayla’s closet and drawers so all of her clothes aren’t randomly shoved in a compartment but organized at her eye level so that she can easily pick out her clothes and i packed away anything that didn’t fit her anymore.

no drama

i try to avoid this at all costs even before the happiness project and i did encounter a little drama over which i hee-hawed for a few days as i tried to decide what to do.  the worst thing about drama – especially for me – is that if i feel something isn’t right with the friendship, i automatically begin to distance myself from that person.  at 30-something, i feel that we should have our core set of friends – those who, over the years, we’ve kept in our lives and survived the teenage/20-something years or what i like to call “the screening years”.  if you think about it, we spent our teenage and 20-something years with large groups of friends and as time passed, that group got smaller and smaller.  there was no ill-will towards anyone but as i got older – heck, as everyone got older – our tastes changed, as did our interests and perspectives and life just led us in different directions so at 30-something, you’re left with friends who you truly trust and rely on.  having said that, drama seems to surprise me when it rears its ugly head.  after the bullshit i went through last year, i want to live my life enjoying the simple things.  i don’t want to have to deal with other peoples’ shit when i got enough to deal with on my own.  btw, drama nipped in the bud.

living for each day

i’ve really been maxing out on this one.  for example, i’ve been shopping like i’m working.  but i’m not so really, i shouldn’t be.  i love spring and along with it, the new spring lines so it’s hard for me to resist when i go to the mall with kayla.  i’ve also been enjoying the limited time i have at home until i have to go back to work so if it means that the house remains messy and the dishes are dirty while i kick back and enjoy my time doing whatever, then so be it.  if it means that i stuff my face with whatever tasty treat i want, then i’m going to do that, even if it means that i am no longer able to fit into my skinny jeans (which totally sucks but oh well).   i am going out a lot more with friends and keeping in touch.  i’ve decided to start a new blog dedicated to help desperate mothers who are looking for answers – free of charge i might add – because who wants to pay for advice?  i don’t.  i have reapplied to become community leader of my baby forums again – something that i loved but had to stop because of my depression.  so yeah, if you ask me what i’ve been doing as of late, i’d say living for each day.

speaking honestly

most definitely i’ve been doing this.  i just don’t have it in me anymore to hide things or rephrase what’s on my mind because if i don’t say exactly how i feel, it doesn’t feel right.  i’ve now learned to preface my statements with “i don'[t mean to offend…” when i’m about to say some kind of ugly truth just so the other person can get some kind of warning.

going back to work

yes, i’m going back to work.  as much as i dread it i think i’m starting on march 15.  i am dreading it because i really don’t want to go and when i mean really, i mean RILLY. i turned down several offers because it was either too far, the rate wasn’t good enough or i was just being nit-picky but it’s hard for me to turn down my old boss because he’s just so awesome.  in any case, me going back to work means that i’ll have to enroll kayla in full time daycare which i’m really nervous about because of the whole nap situation and the fact that for a few weeks after, her sleep will be all messed up which means my sleep will be all messed up!

i am happy to say that i completed about 99.9% of my goals and will continue to do so.  i say 99.9% beacuse the house isn’t as organized as i would like and i supposed i could have dedicated more time to do it but i would much rather sit here and populate my new blog with lots of baby info.

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