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Throwback Thursdays: dating deal-breakers

February 18, 2010

re-reading some of my posts, i’m quite surprised i’m sharing this much information about myself.  i’m usually a private person and prefer to keep sordid details to myself but since my depression, i have a new outlook on life and it doesn’t bother me to share some inner thoughts online.  of course, there are some things that are just not meant to be said and those thoughts are in the vault forever but i am ok with sharing parts of my life for Throwback Thurdays.  anyhow, onto to this week’s edition of Throwback Thursday.

during my dataing career, i have learned a lot about guys.  i was always what you called a ‘guy’s gal’ – one who didn’t have that many girlfriends but had a ton of guy friends.  being around guys was much easier for me; i had a hard time dealing with girls’ cattiness and back-stabbing so i just never bothered to nurture friendships with my fellow ladies.  with guys on the other hand, you pretty much know where you stand.  if they get pissed off at you, there’s no guessing as to why they got mad because they flat out tell you; there may be some ugly words flying around but generally, squabbles between guy and girl friends usually last for a few minutes.  maybe an hour of the silent treatment and then things are back to normal; as if nothing happened.

because of my male-dominated friendships, i learned a lot about the male brain.  how they think.  what they think.  how they react to certain situations.  what they think about girls, sex, relationships and all the likes of that.  we are creatures of habit and when we hang out with certain people for long periods of time, we tend to pick up on their habits, thoughts and perspective on certain things.  i guess in some ways, you could say that i have a guy’s mentality.  it’s easy for me to figure out a guy’s intention quickly, i know how they think and i know how they are.

i have been out with a lot of lemons and i wasn’t about wasting my time.  i had several ‘deal breakers’ of which i used to determine if a guy was worthy of my time.  it may seem cruel and mean but that’s the reality of dating and i have never been about mediocre relationships.

he has to have nice hands.  i like big, square, strong hands.  to me, that tells a lot about someone.  dainty, small hands just don’t do it for me.  ok, i’ll be honest – i equate the size of a man’s hands to the size of his man-meat.  i know i could be way off but that’s just what i think.  i have dated guys with small hands or thin fingers and neither i nor my poontang was impressed.  also, there’s something primal about big hands – like using them to do things that are not meant to be discussed in a blog.

has has to be a good kisser.  women can tell within the first 5mins if a man is worthy to enter her enchanted forest.  the first kiss tells a lot about a guy and his bedroom skills – if he’s sloppy and messy, chances are he won’t be that much cleaner between the sheets.  if he’s reserved and shy, then he’s probably boring in bed.  however, if he’s a passionate kisser, gives you just the right amount of tongue and well, takes over then you can pretty much guarantee that he will probably make your head spin right ’round baby right round like a record baby right ’round round round.

he has to be at least 5″9.  i don’t mind guys below this height but i prefer taller men.  it just seems more cozy when he wraps his arms around you and you feel enveloped within his body.  the taller, the better for me.

he has to have a substantial amount of junk.  i am being PG-rated here but you get my point.  let’s be honest here ladies – we all say “it’s all about technique” etc etc but if you can’t feel anything, how is good technique going to help?   if i’m looking at something similar to a cocktail weiner, i won’t even bother.  i will hand him a pair of tweezers so he can promptly put that thing away and leave.

he has to know how to use his junk. just because a guy has something, doesn’t mean he knows how to use it properly.  equipment is only as good as the user and if the user doesn’t know what to do, then no one benefits.  i sure as hell was not about to waste my time because i don’t give upgrades for free.

no virgins allowed up in this motherfucker.  i know it sounds cruel and i know that there is a point when we all get defiled but it will not be by me.  i am selfish in that way – i will not play teacher because i do not have the patience or the time and if i don’t get as much as i’m giving, well, thanks but no thanks.  it may be mean but i am not an equal opportunity lover.

he has to be bright, have ambition and knows what’s going on.  ok, so i’m not one to talk here and this is pretty hypocritical because i’m not usually up-to-date with current events but the guy has to at least have a job he likes, the drive to better himself and can carry a conversation.  if he is way into video games (as in it rules his life and he knows the name of the video game store owner), sits on the couch eating chips, drinking beer playing or talking about video games, i could just go down to the unversity and find myself a frat boy.  i love video games as well, but i like to venture out into the world of 3-dimensional people too.

i had a few more but the ones listed above were top-priority.  i’m just glad that i no longer have to use these anymore!

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 18, 2010 9:50 am

    One of my criteria was the guy has to be at least 5’10. I think it was a top priority on my list. Great hair was another one.

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