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Top 10 Things That Annoy Me: #1 – tryhards

January 18, 2010

i am two episodes behind on jersey shore.  i usually don’t watch mtv trash – in fact, this is the first mtv reality show that i’ve ever watched.  oh and just so you know, mike “the situation” is the best with snooki running a close second.  to come up with a nickname of “the situation” is pure genius.

there’s no doubt this show has brought back the coolness of being a guido… i’m not sure if that really went away but in my day, it wasn’t about the guido.  let’s go back in history, shall we?

when i was in grade 7/8, i moved to markham.  they didn’t have enough room for our new division at milliken public so they shipped us all up north to franklin street public.  i think there were only 4 asians there, myself included.   not that it bothered me but that’s what i noticed.  so in at that time it was cool to be white.  listen to rock.  be a skater. have the skater hair cut – you know the one where it’s really long on one side that hangs over your face and short on the other.  wear tight jeans that were pinned at the calf with leg warmers and tretorns.  if you were really fancy, you’d have little beads on the first lace of your shoes.  i think some people wore penny loafers but that never really took off – the tretorns ruled all.  the hot bands at the time were whitesnake, poison, motley crue, bon jovi, guns n roses and of course, U2.  everyone loved U2.  i think i was the only one who had no idea who they were and when i asked who U2 was, they looked at me like i was troll.  i was into alternative and house.

when i left franklin or ‘grauated’ from grade 8, i got transferred to milliken high and out went the the tretorns and tight jeans and in came the houser styles.  doc martins. paisley and polka dot shirts.  suits and ascots.  wide, single-cuffed dress pants or for the more hardcore, double cuffs – i even saw a few people with triple cuffs!  remember cutting the sides of your jeans and then sewing in a strip of black cloth?   the new way for boys to cut their hair was to shave the rest of your head except for the piece at the front, dye it brown or copper or whatever and then slick that part back. if you weren’t that brave, you’d sport the mushroom cut.  for the girls, it was long, straight hair, heavy bangs and weraing some kind of printed headband or scrunchie.   ruby red lipstick.  oh and you can’t forget the johdpurs or black leggings/tights with ankle boots.

so for the first half of high school, it was cool to be filipino.  if you were filipino, you were golden.  if you weren’t, you aspired to be by dressing the part, acting the part and trying to learn the language.  you surrounded yourself with filipino friends because if you hung with the flips, you were cool by association. i even knew some white guys who spoke some pretty good tagalog simply by hanging out at their friend’s house all the time.

near the end of high school, the next cool thing was  being jamaican – at least in milliken.  looking back, i realize that a lot of people tried to incorporate the Irie into them.  i think this ‘new fad’ bothered me the most because people tried too hard to be jamaican.   sure, you can dress the part with the one love bob marley t-shirts, or the red, green and black knit belt, the rasta hat etc; some people went so far as to dread their hair when clearly they weren’t born with the type of hair to sustain dreads.  but the absolute worst part was that they tried to speak with a jamaican accent.  please, for all that is pure and good in the world, do not speak patois when clearly, you do not have the accent,  nor are you from there.  do not use words you don’t understand and do not use cuss words like rhaatid, rassclat, bumbaclat, bloodclot etc.  just use shit, fuck or damn or the usual english cuss words.  so many times i wanted to tell non-jamaicans that it’s ok to say ‘boy’ instead of ‘bwoy’ or girl instead of ‘gyal’.  you can say that you’re ‘mad’ instead of ‘vex’.  if you want to embrace the culture and learn about it – all the power to you.  read about the history, understand who the rastafarians are, how people like my fellow chinaman ended up in jamaica.  but please, oh please don’t pretend to be jamaican.  don’t pretend to be anything you’re not. just be you – you’ll be more likeable that way.

oh, and if you’re going to smoke a joint, it’s ‘burn’, not ‘bun’.  that really annoyed me.  it’s not ‘let’s bun’ it’s ‘let’s burn’.  here’s a conversation i clearly remember with *tom when i was looking for *jim (*all names have been changed to prevent humiliation):

me: where’s jim?

tom: he’s bunnin’ with *mike

me: what? what’s bunnin’? where’s jim?

tom: i said he’s out bunnin’ with mike in the parking lot

me: what the fuck is ‘bunnin’?

tom: they’re out smoking a joint.  you know, burning?

me:  oh they’re burning.  why the fuck didn’t you just say burning?

tom:*stares at me blankly*

me: …..you know you’re not jamaican, right?

tom: yeah…..?

me: then why are you talking that way?

tom:  whatever.  then he walks away.

let me clarify that tom was born in india and his family immigrated to canada when he was in his pre-teens.

so yeah, it really annoyed me when people tried to speak with a jamaican accent – it still does.   i don’t know why – maybe it’s because it sounds so fake.  and awful;  almost insulting to jamaicans.  although my dad’s side of the family is from jamaica and do speak patois, i do not – nor do i know how – speak patois.  i understand it and think it’s hilarious when i hear the jamaicans cussing but i prefer to use words like shit, fuck, motherfucker and other colorful english words.

what’s the point of this post? don’t make yourself look like an asshole by speaking with the accent when clearly you can’t.

this is post #1 of my Top 10 Things that Annoy Me.  Visit for #2-10 in the future.

oh, and my ass isn’t leaking anymore – i guess the B.R.A.T diet worked faster than i thought!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. January 19, 2010 2:34 pm

    I’m bringing back the long straight hair with heavy bangs and ruby red lips!!!

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